i'm going to introduce myself, i'm gonna find out who i am.
everything i write is very honest, its my own blog, why should i lie?
if you respect me, respect what i write here.
if you have any opinions, feel free to voice out to my face.
if not, don't even bother reading.
hey, my name is denise fung xin hui.
i am fifteen this year born on 03/04/1995.
i am currently studying in sec 3 in cgss.
(im not going to say too much of my personal details, just in case.)
my favourite colour is pink, as most of you know.
it will be a long list if i am to write out my fave food and drinks, just know that i love eating, i'm a glutton.
i don't really bother much about my weight, fat then fat luh, so what?
so i do not appreciate those skinnier people going round saying they are fat and need to go on diet.
i dislike my shortness but i take what im given. short ppl have benefits too!
i think i'm average looking, but ive long learn to accept my appearences and differences.
all of us are made special, so we must learn to love ourselves.
i may be very ego at times but i'm only joking.
most of the time, i'm a happy cheerful person, and prefer to look on the bright side.
i like to smile and laugh no matter how my eyes disappear cause i know i will look mean or dao otherwise. (or so ive been told)
i'm working towards inspiring others and being a good friend for them.i want to see people smile because of me, cause that feeling is really beyond awesome.
but most of the time, im kinda fail because im not doing it the right way.
i think i'm strong, i want to be strong.don;t keep me protected, i want to face the world.
its easy to run away, but thats not solving anything.
i want to defend myself for myself, i want to face everything bravely.
and i hope there'll just be people there for me, in case i fall.
to patch up myself if i'm broken.
i'm anti-vulgar and do not curse, MOST of the time.
but ive got to be very honest, i curse in my head, i just don't say it out.
but now i learn that even THINKING it is a sin.
so, i'm attempting to clear these words from my vocab.
to me, these words don't make much of a difference.
being vulgar does not help clear the anger or whatever emotion you're feeling.
and i don't think it makes you any cooler by putting them in every sentence you say.
so, yeah, i don't believe in saying them constantly.
in school, im a dancer.
i must admit, being vice president is not very fun.
cause i know there will be people who hate me, but whatever, i don't care.
i like to dance, but i do not have a passion for it.
passion is a strong word, so i don't wanna say i have that.
i do not think i dance nicely, but i know i want to.
im gonna try to improve myself, but i think not even trying can suffice.i'm really sorry to irene for saying all these, somehow its like letting you down.
and the other dancers too.
and i really want to spit this out before i burst too.
i find alot of people in dance very annoying.
stop making so much noise and playing around. when there's a time to play then play by all means. but get serious when its time to be serious. and btw, there's a basic line of respect between juniors and seniors. maybe its time to draw the line.
or maybe im being too strict, i should lower my expectations of the dancers.
then, i must learn to be patient.i'm a tlc leader also, and i have absolutely no interest in this role.
i do not find it amusing and feel no dedication to it.
i'm doing it for the sake of doing it.
but now, im gonna put some effort into this job.i mean, i've been chosen for a reason, right?
the OAL board is very corrupted.
my level of instructors are i-am-speechless-for-words.
truthfully, i am unhappy with some people.
like how did these people even get into the board in the first place huh?
im constantly toying with the idea of quitting this leadership role.
or maybe im fortunate enough that ms poon hates me and will axe me out.
whatever it is, now i think of it, of course everybody who is in the position deserve it.
the leaders and teachers saw the potential in these people and in me, so i must trust their better judgement.
regardless, im just gonna do what i do, give my all to cc. just do my part and be good at it.
accept that i can't have everything i want, and i can't force by friends to be someone they are not.and there are friendships which i treasure alot, and friends i certainly don't wanna lose.
i'm gonna list them out (no particular order), please respect my privacy. (once again, im being honest here). i'm sorry if you are not on the list but i will try to work hard to make it there.
the people i love:
-yingyi, you are my most loved sister.
-laura, thanks for being there.
-irene, i've always respected you.
-yixin, you hear all my rubbish, and make me happy, smile and laugh.
-margie, you make sense, most of the time.
-daphne, we're not like we used to be anymore.
-peyling, i just trust you i don't know why.
-shannen, you were my first friend in cedar.
the people i like especially:
-yurda, i feel like you understand me alot.
-rachel tang, you emit this bubble of happiness to me.
-jiale, (idk why you're here) my view of you changed that friday. thankyou! (later shayna jealous! HAHAHAHAHA!)
-shujia and cheuklam, omg i love you two ttm! qm!(:
-weiting, chloe, you guys are hilarious.
-aliah, you hear out all my crap too. you share yours with me.
relations i want to work on:
-shannen
-joey
-daphne
-laura
your names are here cause i believe you are worth it.
to those ive offended in anyway, im sorry.
its hard to express myself in front of you, so i write it here.
you may or may not read it, but at least im writing it here with sincerity.
tmr will be the last day i have enemies.
its the last day i will complain about you.
cause as of the next day, i will be talking to all of you again.
pretend all the bad things never happen.
untie the tangle of knots within my heart, learn to let go.
i hate bearing grudges, i can't stay mad for long.
and i have to admit it hurts me too.
i feel much better after writing everything out.
sometimes if you feel you;ve lost yourself, in all these madness, in all your troubles.
in all your hatred and in anger, and you want to release it all.
find your actual you and pledge to make a change.
i think its the best way(:
sports day tmr, cheer ends tmr.
let the catfight stop and the peace making begin.
it takes 2 hands to clap, no matter how one soul can wish and wish for,
it'll never happen unless both can comply.
ilovesomepeople,andiwanttotreasurethem.
sogivemeachance,iprayeverynight.
ihopeGodwillhearmeout,
andeverything'salright.
i. love. you.