Some people are so freaking desperate that they absolutely disgusts me.

Fuck. I'm freaking pissed and you'll know how pissed I am to actually say that word. Which just brings me to finally breaking that one new year resolution that I managed to keep to for this past 22 days of wonderful 2011 to not be vulgar.

I've got several reasons for being so pissed off. Hmm, I don't know which one to start. Hmm let me see. Oh yeah! The fact that I was fucking woke up in the middle of my sleep. Oh and conveniently in the form of my brother and sister who have fucking no consideration for someone who woke up at 7 to go for camp an then dance and then a shopping trip til 12 midnight at orchard. Yeah sure I had fun but do you know how fucking tiring I am? No of course you don't cause you guys are fucking not as busy as me and you guys apparently don't have enough eq and iq to make it to a school thy tortures their students. And hence you end up playing fucking violent games, think shooting and killing virtual people, using virtual characters and virtual weapons, which has no use whatsoever or purpose, for that matter, and waking up people who are fucking dead tired from a fucked up day. Oh I don't even want to mention, that though I understand you guys are so mentally challenge, you don't have the cow sense to mum your game sounds and conversation. Oh, yeah and after asking you guys to shush up, you still have the decency to ask me to shut the fuck up? And then annoy me further by making even more noise? Seriously, get a life. And while my anger is currently under the containment policy of keeping it all here inside my blog instead of on your fucked up memories, stop pissing the fuck out of me.

Second reason. Am I so small and minute that I am invisible? Have I been so fucking non existent in your lives like seriously? Wow! I really didn't know how fucking insignificant I am. But now I know, and now I understand. That I am really nothing. Just an invisible shadowed figure, blending in the background. What the fuck! I seriously don't even know what to say! Fucking loss for words. I can't imagine that about an hour ago,my my mind was like a turbulence. Churning and churning about how fucking pissed I am at you. And cursing you and stuff that makes murdering someone seem human. After how I always treat you, and acknowledge you and your existence, an d now that I realise what everything means, looks like it's time I stop giving a fuck about anything that happens with you.

Wah fuck fuck fuck. To those who are uninvolved or not concerned in the above 2 cases, I'm sorry you had to read this. Of course you will realise what a bitch I can be. Trust me, this does not come often, but every girl gets fucking pissed at least once in their life. I'm not throwing a hissy fit here, I'm very aware why the fuck I'm so fucking pissed. And that there are actual reasons to them. But honestly, and then again, I don't really give a fuck on what you think of me at this point either.

Again, I know I'm gonna regret this later. But for now I need to release this poisonous feeling in me. Yes, in case you don't know, getting angry releases a toxin in your body which is nut very good obviously. So I need to do this shut out of me, like it's some toxic waste. Then slowly turn into that happy happy positive mask I usually wear.

Yeah, notice it's a mask. To keep everybody safe, and happy, from what I am actually inside. Nope, nobody's ever going to see the inside of me. Cause honestly, I don't know what's there. I've been so used to my outer shell that what's inside has turned into s stranger.

Ah fuck it.