I think I need to grow stronger.
Not only physically but mentally too.
I realized how really weak I was yesterday.

Contray to the popular belief, I don't break down easily.
Yes, my tolerance for physical pain is near zero, but the tolerance for mental hurt is quite high.
Say what you want, I'll keep it all in.
Give me all the pressure and stress, fine, I'll deal with it.
I won't retaliate, I'll be silent, wait till you finish ranting, then take a deep breath and tell myself to ignore.
Yupp that's what I do, I imagine the pain isn't there, I pretend I never was hurt, not a single scratch.
What I didn't realize was that that wound keeps on growing.
Locked in my heart, but it expands. All it takes is a spark, and I would have blown up.
I really should have known, then I would be even more prepared an keep my emotions in check.
My friends wouldn't have to see me break down like that, for no reason.
I wouldn't feel so black, so ugly inside.
I really don't know how to explain this feeling!
To those who have maybe experienced this, you'd understand what I mean..
You'll feel like the whole world is falling down on you, like you can't breathe, that you'd rather die.
The mental stress, that fatigue, that thought that you're going crazy..

But I'm not going let let things get the better of me again.
Cause though I may fall, I'll always get back on my feet!
Cause I know I'm stronger than this, or at least, I'm going to..
Dear God, please give me strength.